About two months ago we rounded up a rowdy group of kids from our school and went down to Panama City Beach, FL for Spring Break. A great thing I would recommend doing if you plan on taking a classic “College” Spring Break is  to organize your trip and invite tons of kids you don’t necessarily know that well to come. Although I wasn’t the guy who organized everything this year, going with a huge group of kids from my school expanded my social circle much more than I was expecting (even if my number one goal was to hook up with tons of hotties from other schools). I met tons of legit guys, and cute girls from my school that I didn’t even know I existed.

Some of my friends and roommates drove down to PCB, but I decided to take a bus with a female friend who goes to my school, Sarah, and her 3 hot friends that also attend my school, but whom I barely knew. One of them, who I’ll call ChristyHotBitch, I had met once before at the bars. Sarah had introduced us a few months earlier and she was a complete bitch to me when I first tried talking to her… even though that would all change after this week. Nonetheless, I pretty much ignored her the whole 20-hour bus ride down and hit on her hot friends.

Now, I can’t possibly write a post about my entire spring break for two reasons: 1) It would take like 50 pages, and 2) I don’t remember a good portion of it (I probably took a good year off the life of my liver with the drinking I did that week). But I’ll give you a little synopsis…

My two roommates were my good friend Pat and my good female friend Allie. They were both awesome, especially Allie, who one day when I was passed out in my hotel bed brought me a cute girl I had been hitting on all day and pretty much made the hook-up happen. Apparently the girl had been trying to hint that she wanted me all day, and I was too drunk to notice. I ended up taking a nap, but was awoken when Allie came into my room with a ‘surprise’ for me. I didn’t end up taking my full nap… but I wasn’t unhappy with the alternative.

The daily routine started by waking up around 11am, and buying a lot of liquor. I would usually buy a 1.75 liter bottle of the cheapest vodka, and some good soda to chase it with (I would always try to convince all the girls I met on the beach that it was the most expensive bottle in the liquor store). After we were supplied with alchy, we’d hit up the beach and go absolutely wild. Some of our best friends were staying in the hotel next to us… and these kids... well let’s just say that if you could find me a group of 5 kids more rowdy than them, I would be very, very surprised.

There were kids from a lot of rival sports schools, so we would yell our fight songs as we frolicked across the beach. Dizzy bat and beer pong were the two drinking games of choice. Here’s a pick of me and a random girl I met playing beer pong. The game got a little hot… I’m not sure if our opponents appreciated our PDAs…

Yeah... that's a Holy Bible in my hand. Don't ask...

My pick up line of choice during the day was very simple, and stolen from my rowdy friends (who are coincidentally, some of the biggest pimps I’ve ever met).

Francis: “Hey, what school are you girls from?”

Girls: they say their school

Francis: “Booooooooo!”… my friends would usually join me in booing them here.

Surprisingly, although there were a few bitchy responses, and some girls that just walked away… the vast majority of hotties would start qualifying their school, saying how they partied so hard, etc. etc.

Here’s where I’d transition,

Francis: “Nah… whatever, whatever… you girls are cute and seem kinda cool at first glance, but… I heard girls from your school can’t drink…”

This would cause the girls to all want to drink with us. The only problem for them was that once they started convincing me they could party so hard, drink so much, and were trying to convince me to drink from my bottle, I would tell them my very strict rule.

Francis: “All right, all right, I guess you guys can drink a shot of my fine alcohol. But there’s one rule… you have to do the shot my way. It’s how we do shots at our school. You have to make out with me first, and then turn around, lean against me and I’ll pour the drink into your mouth and give you chaser.” (I minimized the ‘making out’ part and emphasized them turning around and doing a shot in a very awkward position).

Then I’d just go for this kiss. Sometimes they’d say no, sometimes I had to be very persistent… but I made out with a good 40 girls during the daytime on the beach. Not all of those were converted to lays, but I was doing it for a much more important reason… because it was fun as hell. The thing you have to realize about spring break is your not going to see 99% of these girls ever again, so you have no excuse to not be absolutely wild with them.

The awesome daytimes was topped off by a ridiculously fun nightlife. Cover charges were very high, but the clubs were worth it. Maybe next year I’ll write a guide for dominating the clubs in spring break, but let’s just say that my hotel bed was christened many-a-time with girls I met in the clubs down in PCB.

Now let’s fast forward to the last day of spring break. My two roomates Pat and Allie had left the day before because they had to drive home, while I had my bus to catch the next day. So basically I got an extra night of partying in. I decided to ditch the girl who I had “married” on the beach the night before (long story…) for my friend Sarah and her cute friends, because I had not seen them all break (they were staying at a hotel that was very far away from mine). I was pleasantly surprised to see a group of about 25 kids who I didn’t know from my school who all seemed very rowdy.

Now I’m not going to lie to you and say that my memory of this day was very clear – it wasn’t, so I’ll just tell you what I heard from third parties. I ended up making out with about 6 of the group of girls from my school that I didn’t know… mostly not because of my skill with women, but because of my refusal to share my vodka with them if they did not make out with me. I also ended up hooking up (but not having sex with) ChristyHotBitch, who I would be riding home with on the bus the next day.

I woke up the next morning and frantically got my shit together, and somehow was able to catch my bus on time. Luckily the momentum from me and ChristyHotBitch’s hot day on the beach the day before carried over, and we were all over each other during the bus ride home. We watched a movie together, snuggled, and made out… cute, I know.

It actually took me 3 or 4 more times of hanging out with ChrissyHotBitch back home to escalate to sex, but it was totally worth it. First impressions can be shit… because it turns out the “bitch” was actually a cool girl who I had a lot of fun hanging out with.

Cheers,

Francis